here it is!
this is it!
after much difficulties!
after three temper tantrums, a broken nail, humidity ruined hair and after the spilling of blood, sweat and glitter here we stand!
well my pretty little fawn children you had better get on downloading and give us a heads up!
click the tile and voila! MAGIC!
yours casually and sporadically
Fraulein Bambi Beaverhausen
xx
Monday, January 10, 2011
to all my little fauns!!
Bambi. B has special treat for her favourite boys and girls!
next week i shall be doing a very special interview with a very special guest, my very own friendly neighbourhood stripper Pepe Alice!
i know what your thinking why the hell am i interviewing a stripper well the question is why the hell not!
who doesn't want to speak to an exotic dancer. if you say that you don't then your a fricking puritan liar...just saying!
well next week we will be putting up a of my favourite lady Miss Alice who will be helping me put together 'Bambi's unofficial guide to stripper hood'
cause stripping is the oldest profession and i should no cause Im a professional.
keep your eyes open and your ears peeled
Holla at your girl
Bambi
xx
next week i shall be doing a very special interview with a very special guest, my very own friendly neighbourhood stripper Pepe Alice!
i know what your thinking why the hell am i interviewing a stripper well the question is why the hell not!
who doesn't want to speak to an exotic dancer. if you say that you don't then your a fricking puritan liar...just saying!
well next week we will be putting up a of my favourite lady Miss Alice who will be helping me put together 'Bambi's unofficial guide to stripper hood'
cause stripping is the oldest profession and i should no cause Im a professional.
keep your eyes open and your ears peeled
Holla at your girl
Bambi
xx
wikipedia is a modern GOD!!!!
In my bewilderment I turn to the only place in which I could get the answers…and lord give me strength I need answers. Wikipedia. Yes I know what your thinking but next year I’m gonna send a Valentines day card to Wikipedia, written in binary code and maybe one day we can settle down together and have wiki babies and live wikialy ever after. Then it hit me wikipedia is like a modern version god!
he gives us answers and asks very little of us back, accept that we devote our life to him and never turn to another. but you shant fear wikipedia every since i turned to your neon, pixilated glow i have never doubted you! and i hope you never doubt my devotion to you. you have been there with me when i have done last minute assignments to give me references that i can then add discretely into my essay and pretend i myself am in actuality a hard working student. no thank you wikipedia!
i love you! you have the made the lives of people around the world very happy from the bored Sydney house wife that sits at home drinking whisky out of a pastel teapot to the young 12 year old searching for sex information that can be found on wikipedia's sister site wiki after dark.
i will stand by you against everything when everyone else may doubt you. you must know that i myself will never leave you. who else will help me cheat and give me unnecessary advice and fun facts about movies and music and the people that i love to hate.
IN WIKIPEDIA WE TRUST!!!!
i love you! you have the made the lives of people around the world very happy from the bored Sydney house wife that sits at home drinking whisky out of a pastel teapot to the young 12 year old searching for sex information that can be found on wikipedia's sister site wiki after dark.
i will stand by you against everything when everyone else may doubt you. you must know that i myself will never leave you. who else will help me cheat and give me unnecessary advice and fun facts about movies and music and the people that i love to hate.
IN WIKIPEDIA WE TRUST!!!!
do a little dance. make a little love. GET DOWN TONIGHT!
every Sydney weekend revolves around fast food, booze, cigarettes and a new theme song. this train of thought lead to me thinking of my top 10 stripper songs. this was hard to narrow down as i simple had so many songs that i thought of as possibilities but this is what i've narrowed it down too.
10. Pony by Ginuwine
9. Smack that by Akon
8. The stroke by Billy Squier
7. Hot for teacher by Van Halen
6.Girls on film by Duran Duran
5.F#ck the pain away by Peaches
4..Cherry pie by Warrant
3. Pour some sugar on me by Def Leppard
2. Girls! Girls! Girls! by Motley Crue
1. Paradise city by Guns n Roses!!!!!!!!!!
thats rights that just happened. we all know it to be true!
HOLLA AT YOUR GIRL or guy..if thats your thing.
casually Bambi. B
10. Pony by Ginuwine
9. Smack that by Akon
8. The stroke by Billy Squier
7. Hot for teacher by Van Halen
6.Girls on film by Duran Duran
5.F#ck the pain away by Peaches
4..Cherry pie by Warrant
3. Pour some sugar on me by Def Leppard
2. Girls! Girls! Girls! by Motley Crue
1. Paradise city by Guns n Roses!!!!!!!!!!
thats rights that just happened. we all know it to be true!
HOLLA AT YOUR GIRL or guy..if thats your thing.
casually Bambi. B
i like boys
Codependency is the bane of my existence.
I don't see the need to be attached to the same person for extended periods of time, or to revert into a former shell of myself when they leave the room for longer than ten minutes. Over the holiday season whiny couples have infected the CBD like a particularly nasty case of herpes, spoiling my festive mood and generally making me feel as though I was some sort of inferior being, just because I hold the astonishing skill of being able to stand upright, without having to lean daintily on a 6ft tall blundering idiot whose main aspirations in life are 'CHICKS CHICKS CHICKS' and seeing how much Chivas Regal he can skull before he passes out in a pool of his own excrement.
Are you reading this blog and saying to yourself, "What is this bitch talking about, i'm in a perfectly fine relationship where none of the things she is talking about exists". My answer to you is, really? If you believe that your adolescent romance is forever then click the link underneath this post and do the quiz.
I dare you.
http://www.allsands.com/lifestyles/codependencyqui_zcg_gn.htm
C.MEOW
I don't see the need to be attached to the same person for extended periods of time, or to revert into a former shell of myself when they leave the room for longer than ten minutes. Over the holiday season whiny couples have infected the CBD like a particularly nasty case of herpes, spoiling my festive mood and generally making me feel as though I was some sort of inferior being, just because I hold the astonishing skill of being able to stand upright, without having to lean daintily on a 6ft tall blundering idiot whose main aspirations in life are 'CHICKS CHICKS CHICKS' and seeing how much Chivas Regal he can skull before he passes out in a pool of his own excrement.
Are you reading this blog and saying to yourself, "What is this bitch talking about, i'm in a perfectly fine relationship where none of the things she is talking about exists". My answer to you is, really? If you believe that your adolescent romance is forever then click the link underneath this post and do the quiz.
I dare you.
http://www.allsands.com/lifestyles/codependencyqui_zcg_gn.htm
C.MEOW
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
when I was your age...
Through working in reception for the past year and just generally being alive for the past 18, I have come across my fair share of rude adults. Now I'm not talking about the average disrespectful 21 year old, I mean the 50 year old self-righteous male and the ignorant selfish middle aged housewife, the adult that seems to get their rocks off by vilifying and generally humiliating someone who is either trying to do their job, or is attempting to disseminate a situation in which they actually have no control over.
I'm not saying that all adults are rude, disrespectful assholes, I know plenty of people who do the right things, but it's those select few who manage to fuck up so badly that they've just pretty much ruined it for everyone.
It may not seem like it, but at work and amongst adults I'm not familiar with I am generally mild mannered and quiet, but in the past two weeks I've experienced pathetic excuses for human beings who have managed to put my personal safety in danger and make me lose faith in all mankind.
Example 1: middle aged road rage
As I was driving home one afternoon I approached a large four way roundabout, I recently got my green p's and I am quite paranoid about losing my license so as I did not have right of way I chose to wait till it was safe to enter said roundabout. After twenty seconds of waiting and it still not being safe, a large 4WD behind me begins to honk loudly, with the driver screaming from his open window 'HURRY THE FUCK UP'. I held my ground and continued to wait until the traffic had subsided, during this time 'angry man in 4WD' proceeded to reverse his car into the lane next to me, to speed into the roundabout, but not before giving me the finger as he went.
This was all in vain as I caught up to him as he was stuck at a set of traffic lights straight after the roundabout, rendering his little bitch fit pointless.
so neh neh neh.
Example 2: 'blind' texting
On Friday afternoon I caught the train home from Central station, as i sat down a visually impaired middle aged woman proceeded to walk onto the train using a 'white cane'. Naturally the man next to me proceeded to get up and offer the woman his seat, which she gladly took. However ten minutes later, this woman that was supposedly 'visually impaired' began to read a book which was not in braille, and text on her mobile phone obviously proving that she was about as blind as I am Barry White.
Makes me sick.
How dare you complain about 'the disrespectful, irresponsible natures of today's youth' or whatever shit it is that you spout whilst you're slaughtering kittens, pretending to be blind or something equally as heinous, don't you realize that one day whilst you're rotting away in state nursing homes or whining about your 'pensions' the people responsible for your welfare, the ones who will wipe your senile behinds and feed you indistinguishable mush are the exact same people you screamed profanities at through a car window twenty years ago?
Karma is a bitch.
C.MEOW
I'm not saying that all adults are rude, disrespectful assholes, I know plenty of people who do the right things, but it's those select few who manage to fuck up so badly that they've just pretty much ruined it for everyone.
It may not seem like it, but at work and amongst adults I'm not familiar with I am generally mild mannered and quiet, but in the past two weeks I've experienced pathetic excuses for human beings who have managed to put my personal safety in danger and make me lose faith in all mankind.
Example 1: middle aged road rage
As I was driving home one afternoon I approached a large four way roundabout, I recently got my green p's and I am quite paranoid about losing my license so as I did not have right of way I chose to wait till it was safe to enter said roundabout. After twenty seconds of waiting and it still not being safe, a large 4WD behind me begins to honk loudly, with the driver screaming from his open window 'HURRY THE FUCK UP'. I held my ground and continued to wait until the traffic had subsided, during this time 'angry man in 4WD' proceeded to reverse his car into the lane next to me, to speed into the roundabout, but not before giving me the finger as he went.
This was all in vain as I caught up to him as he was stuck at a set of traffic lights straight after the roundabout, rendering his little bitch fit pointless.
so neh neh neh.
Example 2: 'blind' texting
On Friday afternoon I caught the train home from Central station, as i sat down a visually impaired middle aged woman proceeded to walk onto the train using a 'white cane'. Naturally the man next to me proceeded to get up and offer the woman his seat, which she gladly took. However ten minutes later, this woman that was supposedly 'visually impaired' began to read a book which was not in braille, and text on her mobile phone obviously proving that she was about as blind as I am Barry White.
Makes me sick.
How dare you complain about 'the disrespectful, irresponsible natures of today's youth' or whatever shit it is that you spout whilst you're slaughtering kittens, pretending to be blind or something equally as heinous, don't you realize that one day whilst you're rotting away in state nursing homes or whining about your 'pensions' the people responsible for your welfare, the ones who will wipe your senile behinds and feed you indistinguishable mush are the exact same people you screamed profanities at through a car window twenty years ago?
Karma is a bitch.
C.MEOW
Monday, December 13, 2010
Maroubra On Lookout for Escaped Prisoner; Locals Fail to Notice Problem
Today the AAP reported that a dangerous convict has escaped from Sydney's Long Bay Gaol and describes his appearance thus:
"...distinctive tattoos, including AC/DC across the fingers of his right hand, an illustration of thorns around his right wrist, a picture of the grim reaper on his right shoulder, a large parrot on his left upper arm, and LOVE across the fingers of his left hand."
Those who own property there may beg to differ, but Maroubra isn't exactly the genteel well-heeled leafy suburb this kind of character would stand out in. Maybe he'll quietly crawl into a bikie clubhouse somewhere and live off sawdust and Toohey's New until crosses state lines. He may get away with it. It's been a quiet year.
"...distinctive tattoos, including AC/DC across the fingers of his right hand, an illustration of thorns around his right wrist, a picture of the grim reaper on his right shoulder, a large parrot on his left upper arm, and LOVE across the fingers of his left hand."
Those who own property there may beg to differ, but Maroubra isn't exactly the genteel well-heeled leafy suburb this kind of character would stand out in. Maybe he'll quietly crawl into a bikie clubhouse somewhere and live off sawdust and Toohey's New until crosses state lines. He may get away with it. It's been a quiet year.
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